Squidtail Bob

I'm a tabletop gamer. RPGs are my thing. I used to run D&D 3.5e in a previous life, and after relocating to another county a couple of years ago, I found and joined a regular "IRL" gaming group. We've had a few different games on the go, run by different GMs. Since the advent of Covid Times (CT), we've continued to play online with a combination of Discord and Roll20. We're currently in the midst of a 5e game.

Some time after CT began, an old friend from a previous job - let's call him Arty - got in touch about a game he wanted to run. He had recently started playing 5e with some co-workers, and was keen to try his own hand at DMing. Knowing his insane arty talents, I was curious to see what magic Arty could perform on Roll20, and I joined in. I was not disappointed. We're still playing Arty's (mostly) weekly game in a weird and wonderful homebrewed cyberpunk-tinged land of the (mostly) dead. Arty has also since joined my other group, being keen to experience and learn from other DMs.

Arty's workload is intermittent, and the level of graphical detail present in his maps and dungeons is often extreme. Sometimes he doesn't have time to get everything for a session together. The first time this happened, I stepped in with a "one-shot" 5e game (I use quotes here because, as is traditional with my "one-shot"s, this one lasted 3-4 sessions) set in a different world with different characters. For my first attempt at running 5e I think it went pretty well.

Last week, Arty warned us that his workload was maxed out and he wouldn't be able to to run this week, so I said I'd run something. I had a couple of ideas for a follow-up to the previous dungeon. As I started getting things together, it became apparent that I wasn't going to have time to get the game I wanted ready. Then I realised I had a ready-to-run adventure that came in the inaugural Critical Kit GM's box. I pitched it to the players, giving them little information other than 'vaguely nautical in theme' and they were up for it. Everyone except one player created new characters. 

During the banter around their new characters, someone posted a meme featuring a picture of a bobtail squid. Bobtail squids are awesome. It is a habit of mine that I often deliberately spoonerize words and phrases in my head, and my brain went straight in and turned that into "squidtail bob". 

"Who is Squidtail Bob?" I asked myself. And I knew. An NPC immediately sprang fully-formed into my head. Admittedly not a very detailed NPC, and one based on a fairly common trope of "cute character who only says one thing, like Groot, Hodor or a Pokemon", but I knew he would be a hit with the players.

Squidtail Bob is a small, rotund humanoid who looks like he is of aquatic descent, combining the features of many sea creatures. His grinning, sharkish mouth contains more needly teeth than any mouth has a right to possess. Beady, crab-like eyes bulge on his brow. A ridge of spines runs down his back, like the dorsal fin of a bony fish. His hands and feet are three-fingered and webbed. And, sure enough, he has a short tail, suckered and prehensile, not unlike the arm of a squid. He appears intelligent, somewhat friendly and excitable, but is only capable of saying one thing - his own name, in a raspy Tazmanian Devil-like growl. He enjoys eating fish, adventure, and punching bad guys in the knees.

We got through most of the adventure last session but there are a couple of rooms yet to explore. One of the goblins the PCs fought escaped with one hit point remaining. Little do they know, he has snuck outside the ship they are exploring, and plans to make off with their boat. 

...At least, he would if Squidtail Bob wasn't guarding it.